In Land of Milk and Honey...

Joke Time...

A Somalian arrives in Los Angeles as a new immigrant to USA .


He stops the first person he sees walking down the street and says,
"Thank you Mr. American for letting me in this country, giving me housing, food stamps, free medical care, and free education!"

The passerby says, "You are mistaken, I am a New Zealander."

The man goes on and encounters another passerby. " Thank you for having such beautiful country here in USA !"

The person says, "I not American, I Vietnamese."

The new arrival walks further, and the next person he sees he stops, shakes his hand and says, "Thank you for the wonderful USA!"

That person puts up his hand and says, "I am from Middle East , I am not American!"

He finally sees a nice lady and asks, "Are you an American?"

She says, "No, I am from Africa !"

Puzzled, he asks her, "Where are all the Americans?"

The African lady checks her watch and says...."Probably at work."

Lawyer honeymoon

A couple is on their honeymoon and the new bride tells her husband to be gentle because she is a virgin. Shocked, the groom says, “but you’ve been married three times before.”

“Yeah,” she says, “but my first husband was a psychologist and only wanted to talk about it, my second husband was a gynecologist and only wanted to look at it, and my third husband was a stamp collector and only wanted to…God, I miss him.”

After a moment of silence, she then turns to her newest husband and says, “And since you’re an attorney I know I’m going to get screwed.”